Goodbye Isn't Forever
by JessiM92
Summary: Kevin left fifteen years ago. Now he's back and he wants to make things right. Will Dee forgive him? Let's hope so. Rated M for slight cursing and maybe some smutty scenes.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So. Not many of you know who I am or the stuff that I go through on a daily basis. And that's alright ya know? Not everyone should know who you really are. I mean, this is the internet. You can never be too careful. Anyway. A little backstory: when I was 15 and in high school, I met this guy. He became my best friend and he was my entire universe. We were inseparable. We did everything together. Until we didn't. About five or six years ago, during my junior year I believe, things changed. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. And within a year and a half, I lost my best friend. So, every so often, when I see him, I remember. I remember the pain and the hurt that came with the abandonment. And every so often, I wonder where it all went wrong. Did it start when he was accused of rape and I didn't talk to him for an entire summer or did it start when he became involved with a girl that hated me? I can't answer these questions because I honestly don't know. And I wish I did.**

 **So this is me, being all up in my feels. I hope this doesn't sound too bad. Enjoy guys.**

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He was sitting by himself in a café. He was nervous. He didn't know how to act when _he_ showed up. How was he going to react to seeing him again after 15 years? His anxiety kicked into over drive. He closed his eyes and counted to 10 in his head. It didn't exactly work. So he tried his breathing exercise and that seemed to calm him down just a bit more.

He heard the bell above the door chime. Looking up, anxious blue met regretful green.

The tall redhead came over and took a seat in front of him. Neither said anything. Not at first. A waiter came over and took their order. Kevin handed her his credit card and paid for the food and drinks.

They continued to stare at each other intently. Kevin couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"So. Double Dee. How are you?"  
Double Dee squeaked. "I'm fine. I've been fine. And yourself?"  
"Same. Bored mostly. But same."  
This made Double Dee snort. _Fine indeed. You ran off to make a name for yourself. Not so much as a good bye to anyone. Especially to me._ _  
_  
"Dee? You alright there?" Kevin asked him. Double Dee looked at Kevin. Furious blue met apprehensive green. Anger boiled just below the surface. What was supposed to be a peaceful meeting turned tense when Double Dee stood up and stormed out the door, rage and tears in his sky blue eyes.

Kevin was flabbergasted. He hadn't expected this to happen when he called him two weeks ago. He had wanted to apologize. He knew the kind of hurt he put the dork through. He left without saying a word to anyone. How could he not be hurt? He had promised he would never leave, that he would always be there. He put his head into his hands. He waited fifteen years to talk to him again. He let the one boy who loved him believe he left to go make a name for himself in California. Which he did, he's now a multimillionaire. His company rakes in more money than Lucasfilm, ltd. every year. It was a hard thing to do for sure! But somehow they pulled it off. And so many kids were left with a roof over their heads and warm food in their bellies. They were happy and grateful for the temporary home. His company name? Big Red's Ranch. They came up with the name and silent partner that helps fund it is Sapphire Dreams, Inc. Now it's one of the most prominent places in California. Their ruse? They asked you to send their children to them to help "fix" them and their perversion. But really, they helped them live their lives. They helped them graduate from high school and earn their diplomas. Kevin vowed that he would never let anyone else suffer the same fate that he did all those years ago.

Kevin got up to leave. He had already paid for the meal. He was walking out the door when he remembered that night all those years ago. The night his parents disowned him and his best friend took him in.

Flashback - 15 years ago

"Mom, dad, I need to talk to you." He said, he was equal parts anxious and afraid. His parents, Marie and Ellis Barr, came into the living and sat down on the couch. Kevin was standing. He was also pacing. He was nervous. He sighed, ran a hand through his hair and started rubbing the back of his neck.

He looked them both in the eyes. "Listen. What I'm about to tell you isn't going to be easy but I need you to remember that I am still your son. That I am still me. Okay? Please?" He begged them. He hoped they understood. Marie spoke first, "Of course honey. Of course we love you. Nothing that you tell us will make us look at you any different. Isn't that right, Ellis dear?" She asked her husband. Ellis looked at his son and grunted. Kevin took that with a grain of salt and a nod. (Italicize) Alright, here goes. "Mom. Dad. I'm gay."

Nothing was said for twenty minutes and Kevin was getting anxious. He looked down at the floor. He couldn't look at his parents. Then, he heard his mother let loose a wail and his father back handed him into the wall. "No god damn faggot is going to live in my god damn house!" Ellis turned to his wife, "Marie, please stop crying baby. Everything will be okay. I promise. Go get your coat and put some shoes on. We're going to be leaving for a few hours." Turning back to Kevin who was still against the wall. "Get your shit and get the fuck out of my house. You don't belong here." At this, he stormed out and gathered up his wife and they left the house.

Kevin was stunned. He didn't expect this to happen. He didn't think they were...homophobic. He didn't know he would be disowned! Where was he supposed to go?! He had no one here. Wait, that wasn't true, he still had Edd. He still had the one person who loved him across the street. But...where would that put him? He didn't want his father to go and do something to his lovable dork.

He set about gathering his things. He packed what he needed. He left the rest. He was still trying to figure out where to go when his phone went off. It was his best friend Nat. He lived in California now.

He answered the phone.

"Keviiiiiiiin! About time you picked up!"  
"Hey Nat..."  
Nat instantly knew something was wrong. And he had a feeling it was his parents fault.  
"Kevin..."  
"Yeah, man...I need a ride out."  
"Be at the airport. I'm sending my plane."

He hung up and left. Without saying goodbye to anyone, Kevin Anthony Barr left Peach Creek, and everyone that lived in the cul-de-sac, behind. Even the boy with the bright blue eyes and adorable gap in his teeth. He didn't know how to say goodbye if he was being honest with himself.

He wouldn't return until fifteen years later.


	2. Part 2

Double Dee went home. To collect his thoughts or to cry, he didn't know. True, it was a shock to his system to see Kevin again. True, he didn't expect to still harbor any kind of feelings towards the fiery redhead. True, he didn't expect to feel anger of that magnitude at the sudden bombardment of memories and loss. Especially loss. It had been fifteen years to the day since he had seen Kevin. Fifteen years to the day that he hadn't heard a word from him. Fifteen years to the day that he had been abandoned by the one man he loved above all else. Double Dee wasn't ashamed to admit that he was still resentful. And maybe a tiny bit pissed off.

"Oh! The nerve of him! Calling me out of the blue! Like nothing had ever happened between us. Who does he think he is?! Ugh! I can't do this right now. I need to think." Double Dee stormed off into the direction of his lab. Completely ignoring his phone. He knew who it was and he wasn't going to answer it anytime soon. At the moment, he didn't care.

"Man...I really fucked up." Kevin said to himself. He dialed his number again, hoping he'd pick up the phone. When he didn't, he exited the car and walked up the driveway. "Well at least he still lives here. Wonder if the spare is still in the fake rock." Of course it was, double Dee still kept it there in case his two best friends came over late at night; they had a habit of doing so because their wives were a little overbearing. Of course they were, being between seven and eight months pregnant dos that to you. Kevin took the spare and unlocked the door. Walking in, he took his shoes off at the door and walked around.

Taking a moment to become familiar with the house again, he noticed that changes had been made. There were more pictures on the walls and the couch looked well worn. There are even toys strewn about the living room and the den. "Did Double Dee have a kid?" He asks himself, before starting for the basement. He knew Double Dee kept his lab there. He remembered it quite well from when Double Dee would ask him for help during his experiments. Walking down the one flight of stairs, he sees Double Dee at the work table, shoulders shaking and his hands covering his face.

Without saying a word, he walks over and envelopes Double Dee in his arms. He feels him tense but relaxes. He knows these arms. How could he forget?

"What are you doing Kevin?"  
"I came to see if you were alright."  
Double Dee scoffed. "Of course I'm not alright you twit!" He shoves Kevin away and stalks to one side of the room.

Apologetic green met pained blue.

"You left me Kevin." Double Dee accuses.  
"I know, Dee. And I'm sorry. I really am." Kevin apologizes.  
"You didn't write. You didn't call. You didn't even check to see if I was alright! You left me! You left me feeling empty inside and I didn't know how to deal with that! Why would you leave me? Why would you leave me alone?!"  
"I didn't want to Dee! I didn't! I wanted you to come with me but you had a life here. And friends. You didn't need me!"  
"That's bullshit Kevin and you know it! I needed you more than anything else in the world! And you thought I was better off here, by myself, dealing with the questions about your leaving?"  
"Double Dee..."

Anger filled blue met regretful green.

"Why did you leave me Kevin?"  
"Because...because I didn't know what else to do. My parents disowned me. I wasn't thinking of anyone else but myself at the time. And I am so sorry, so so sorry baby. I wasn't thinking. I didn't want to leave you behind. I'm so sorry." Tears were streaming down Kevin's face now. He walked over to where Double Dee was standing and wrapped him in a hug. Swaying side to side, Kevin felt the dork relax. "You asshole. Despite everything, I still love you."

Kevin smiled. "You cussed. Twice."  
Double Dee gave him some serious side eye. It only made Kevin hug him tighter. He felt double Dee's arms wrap around his waist. He was forgiven, or at least he hoped he was, but he knew that he would spend the rest of their lives making it up to him. If he ever got that chance. But right now, he had some unfinished business to attend to.

Releasing Double Dee, he grabbed his hand and walked upstairs. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Okay? I promise I'll come back."  
"You better, Kevin Anthony. Or I will hunt you down." Kevin didn't need an explanation. He didn't think he'd need one. He had kept up with the Scientist over the years. He knew what the Dork was capable of but he knew he wouldn't do. Kevin hurried out the door and to his parent's house. The house where he grew up.

The house that had so many happy memories and held one very painful night.


	3. Part 3

Knocking on the door, he waited. Ten minutes later, his father answered the door.

Shocked emerald met rage filled green.

"Kevin. Son, is that you?"  
"Yes it is."  
"Well come in! Come in! Marie! Marie come in here!"  
"What is all the fuss about about, Ellis?" She said walking into the living room. She stopped mid-stride as she took in her now full grown boy. Raising a hand to her mouth, she said, "oh my god. Kevin."  
"Hey Ma. Dad. I need ya'll to sit down please." Kevin didn't pace nor did he fidget like he once did all those years ago. He looked his parents in the eyes. They seemed anxious, confused, and maybe even bit angry. But he didn't notice, even if he did he probably wouldn't have cared. He took a deep breathe and readied himself for what he was about to say.

"Marie. Ellis. I don't blame you for what you did. Was I angry? Yes. Was I depressed? Yes, I was, for five years. Did I miss you? Terribly. But most of all, I was thankful. Because if you hadn't done what you did all those years ago, I wouldn't be who I am today. But, at the same time, I'm also still very angry. Because of what you did, by disowning me and leaving me without a place to stay, I was forced to leave behind the only person I've ever loved. And I missed fifteen years of his life. A life that could have been ours. Do you know how bad that makes a person feel, when you and this other person make plans for your future together? Only to have something happen and it's thrown into the wind? I made plans with someone. I mapped out exactly what our future would be. I wanted to live that life. But you forced me out and I didn't think I had a choice in leaving." He paused, taking a breath. He looked his parents over. At least they had the decency to look ashamed. He continued. "After tonight, you won't see nor hear from me again. This goodbye...it's forever. I'm not coming back. I'm only back because I needed him. I needed him then and I need him now. I'm leaving now. But," at this he looked at his mother, "I still love you. Despite what happened, I still love you. And maybe one day I'll find it in my heart to forgive you. But not today." He said. Walking over to his mother, he laid a kiss on top of her head and laid a hand on his father's shoulder. Before walking out, he turned around. "Thank you. Thank you for raising me and thank you for teaching me to be a better man."

Kevin walked out and never looked back. He wasn't sure how tonight with his parents was going to play out. He didn't expect to say what he did. He wanted to find the strength to forgive them tonight. But, he didn't. He couldn't. Not yet. And he knew it would take some time before he could. And maybe when he did, he'd send his mother flowers and make a phone call to his father. But tonight, he would focus on entirely something else. And right now, that something else was waiting for him.

Looking at the house across the street, he saw that Double Dee was standing at the window, waiting for him to return. He smiled. He didn't know what would happen after tonight, but he would take it for what it was. A second chance. He started walking back towards the house where he had spent most of his teenage years building a future and making memories to last a lifetime. He knew right then and there that he would make it up to Double Dee. For the rest of their lives he would make it up to him. If he took him back. And he hoped he did.


	4. Part 4

He walked across the street to Double Dee's house. Before reaching the door, Double Dee had it open and he was standing in the doorway. One arm across his chest.

"Everything alright?"  
"Yeah. I think so."  
"Feel better?"  
Kevin took a moment to answer. "Yeah. I do. I've waited fifteen years to see my parents again and I didn't expect to say what I did. Maybe one day I'll find it within myself to forgive them. But I'm still holding on to a lot of resentment. I have to work through that before I can even begin to forgive them. Ya know?" Kevin said. Double Dee looked at him, "Yes. I do know. It took me quite a while to forgive you. But I did, many years ago. And it was a good feeling. I hope you find the…..strength to forgive them."

Kevin walked inside and Double Dee shut the door. He sat on the couch, after taking his shoes off at the door, and Dee went to the kitchen to make them some tea. Kevin's favorite was peppermint tea, but you'd have to torture him to get him to tell you that.

When he came back, Kevin looked at Double Dee. Shining green met bright blue.

"Edd."  
"Yes?" Double Dee handed him his cup and took a seat beside him on the couch.  
"I'm sorry. I am. I'm sorry for leaving you like I did and I'm sorry for not letting you know I was alright. That I was safe. I shouldn't have left you either. And for that, I'm sorry. If you'll have me back, I promise I'll spend the rest of our lives together to make it up to you." Kevin said, pleading silently to the man he still loved.  
Double Dee looked at him for a moment. Tears brimming to the surface. He looked at the man sitting beside him. "Well. I suppose I could take you back. I mean, it's only fair. You did come back for me after all."  
Kevin smirked. "Smartass."

Before going to sleep, after staying up for hours to talk and catch up, Kevin looked over to Double Dee. He had one more question for the man laying next him. "By the way. Did you have a kid?"  
"What? No. Don't be silly."  
"Oh. Well alright. I just noticed the toys."  
"Oh! No, Ed and Eddy are married to two of the Kanker sisters. They have children and they come over sometimes."  
"Oh. Okay."  
Dee chuckled. "I love you. Go to sleep."  
For the first time in fifteen years, Kevin smiled a genuine smile. He pulled Dee close and just before falling asleep, he whispered, "I love you, too, Dork." He had his Double Dork back. And he was happy.

Goodbye isn't forever, it can sometimes be just for the moment.

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 **AN: So...after the incident with S, I was bombarded with some more bullshit. Ugh. I can't deal with all of this. Anyway. I hope you liked this. They aren't as long as my other stories have been.**

 **If you're reading When I Needed You, please be patient. I'm still stuck on chapter 10. I write it and then I delete it because none of it makes sense. And it's frustrating. And I hate it. I'll get it out eventually. It's not going to sit there in limbo. I promise.**


End file.
